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its funny how the loom of fate spins the thread in such a way that things may just cross over each other but never meant to be.
i'd lament the fact at how everything is being played out, but that isn't my style.
its kind of like a good thing that I never really trust in the series of coincidences that we call " fate", that way, I've learnt to see things through with a pinch of salt.
there is no point in being irritated or lamenting about the things of the 'past'. its about time i end this chapter and move on with the book that we all call "Life".
is life really a mystery?
is fate really at work and everything is pre-destined?
I'd still say fate is just dubbing "a series of cruel coincidences".
better a quarter than a nil, i guess.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Didn't go out to Dell store as intended today to take a look at my prospective new computer (and liability every month). Been staying at home the whole day stoning. Slept at insanely 'early' yesterday, or rather today. What, 6 am'ish? LOL (No matter how much I try in ceasing in my usage of internet abbreviations on my blog, still doesn't work.) Woke up at freaking 4pm, and I've to admit. I still feel whacked out in the head. Like, a lil sleepy. Then I stone as I watch the day (or whats left of it) passes by. Will most likely head over to City Hall tomorrow to do what I intended to do today. Think.. thats all for today. The skies overhead. Unpredictable, unreadable. Magnanimous yet, easily agitated.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
HARO. think imitating all that Peter Chao and references from other comedians has really rubbed off to me. I don't really stay serious/emo for long. That, and I'm probably getting a new computer! So freaking awesome. Can't wait! :O -- If life gives me all that lemons, I'll just cut them all and use it for LEMON CHEEKEN. For one day, ultimately, they'll realize.
何の為に戦えて？ 何の理由、この世界に生きてる？ Broken japanese, but as long as I understand it, who cares? Out of the billion people in this world, theres only one right one for you, and several "probable' right ones for you. Everyone met some of them. I probably did, but unfortunately, thats just completely one-sided. -- I finally remembered why was I so fixated in, and taken pride in, being unreadable to majority. Its like after so much deliberation and thinking, I've found the reasons. So what if people cared, so what if they are worried? It can't help you much, at least for me. So what would be the best? The best would be that they wouldn't even know what you're thinking. Works for me, never failed. Made probably more than thousands of friends in my life, probably not a single one knew how I thought, how I felt, yeah, not even my parents and my elder brother. Doesn't really matter how they, or the world sees me. For even when I take a look at my inner self, or take a look at the mirror. I don't know who this person I'm seeing everyday. Take a look at yourself, are you seeing the true you?
Theres like, millions of things that I can do with all these time. But I'm not even slightly motivated to do them, yes, even the things that meant fun and enjoyment; games, going out etc. If only I know how to drive, if only I know a place where I can lie onto the ground and gaze the stars. Short-lived happiness, unquenchable thirsts for desirable wants, monotonous routines, boring work. The holidays will be used up for working and nothing else. No progress in things I want. Trip to Taiwan in 19 days, not exactly very hyped over it either. iPhone 4 and iPad. Incredible wants. But never gonna get fulfilled unless I work for it. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Every time when someone who caught my eye shows up, the ending is the same as usual. Karma, and not destined to be. Life.
The last rounding lap of examination prix has what I'd called a, semi-圆满 ending? Some things pick up, some things die down. Just when I thought I was finally getting my first streak at lady luck, my mood dampen over minute-details. Karma, maybe? I don't know. But if thats how it is, then thats how the way the cookie crumbles. Maybe lethargy's getting over me, so I tend to be a little more easily agitated emotionally. Agitated, sounds off. Sounds as if I'm gonna flip several tables to vent my rage. RAGGEEEE Okay, that was totally random and uncalled for. Maybe its due to the several random factors, or maybe not so random factors. Just. Don't. Let. It. Happen. To. Me. Again. Please.
and i found the reasons why I kept these facades.
2:12 AM
Friday, June 11, 2010
the mood for anything
3:35 PM
emotional outrage, nan te ne? (or some thing like that?)
2:14 AM
Sunday, June 6, 2010
haro.
9:24 AMlacked the juice to think of a better blog title, deal with it. lol
Famine Camp really fluctuates between awesome and sucks to the max. Awesome was due to all the facilitators, game masters, station ICs and of course, my group. Everyone of them super receptive of my nonsense. hoho
Sucks, because everything else was so much better last year, from sleeping arrangement, flow of drinks like 100 plus and Milo to the concert venue and performances.
Funny coincidences and interesting happenings all over.
Though I'm extremely sleep deprived, I guess I can say I'm still surviving. Whats worrying me now is actually the test tomorrow, and I'm still too exhausted to study. Crap.
Thats all for now.