Late for school today. Tutorial starts at 9, and I woke up at 9. Epic. So right now, I'm sitting in the Business Library to burn away the last 30 minutes before the next class begins.

And I thought, what an opportunity to write about something that never stopped bugging me when I was trying to sleep.

Yeah, insomnia strikes again and I was unable to fall asleep. (I can't fall asleep if the topic isn't exhausted. And without writing it on somewhere, it makes it incredibly difficult to "exhaust the topic".)

--

Many people wake up to greet the day with either a smile on their face, frustrations on their brows or simply just 'sian" of whats to come. 

I woke up to feeling alone. Not physically, duh. Majority of the people sleeps by themselves you know.

Its been days, or even a week or two since we've last had a good, proper and engaging conversation. Not that I'm a freak or whatsoever, but somehow, it just feels like forever.

--

My entire life, if I were to describe, no one had came close to that sphere I erected around myself. Well, until she came along.

Imagine this for a second, if I were to sit in the middle of a huge circle, that circle is the very barrier of the "me". And there'll be this ring that surrounds that circle. That ring, is furthest of most people that ever come close to. We call that circle, the 'friend zone'. (As of now, you can probably imagine something like Jupiter. A ring of dust around the sphere.)

Close friends or good friends. They manage to touch just outside the field outside of that circle. Thats where I shut them off. For many reasons that people won't know if I don't tell. And I'm not off shooting my mouth (or in this case, my fingers) about it.

She, is the only one that managed to step into that circle. She alone. No one else have managed to done so. Maybe not anymore in anytime soon.

But of course, that very circle has many layers to it.

--

As people might have guessed. There are a lot of things that I still don't write about. And to be honest,  I don't really talk about unspeakable problems in a public domain such as this. In fact, I don't talk about it where it leaves 'evidence' or a trace.

What I usually blog about, are considered 'superficial matters'. Where I don't really care about who knows about it. If a stranger knows about it, I'm fine with that as well. Very simply because, I know that the moment I put something on the net, odds that people know about it is sky high.

--

Lethargy sinking in. Will update more next time.

--

You're the only person who knocked.

The only one who stepped in.

And yet, when I do the same.

You did not answer.

Perhaps I do not belong in that circle of yours.

Thats what you're trying to say, right?

--

この寂しいの世界に

僕は一人で